Pillow Talk
by SherwoodShippers
Summary: Go behind the scenes of the Sherwood home and find out how they really feel. What did Frank think of Roxy's faux pas? What was the aftermath of Denise's failed seduction. Read all of that here and more. That was awesome! Less than 6 day til ep 2!
1. A Tribe is Born

The lights were off when they pulled into the driveway after the promotion ceremony. Frank didn't look happy, he'd told his son he wasn't allowed out that night, he wanted to spend time with him before he left for three months, but it seemed Jeremy was interested in anything but one on one time with his father, not that Frank blamed him. He'd been the same way at Jeremy's age, except then he'd already been in love. He looked over at his wife, he was worried, she always withdrew a little bit before he deployed, but this time...He got out of the car and went around to her side to help her out.

She got out of the car but didn't say anything she hadn't said much in a few hours.

Before they went inside he did something he didn't normally do in public except on the tarmac, he pulled her close to him and just held her there a few minutes. It hadn't been a long since his last tour, maybe that's what it was. Anyway, the why didn't matter, he just wanted to hold her in his arms.

And she let him; she laid her head on his shoulder and held on to him tight.

He rubbed her back with one hand and held her head in the other. Both stiffened when the headlights hit them, Jeremy was home.

Denise squinted and pulled away from Frank.

He didn't try to hold her there, "Go in the house, I'm going to have a word with Jeremy."

She only nodded and went inside.

Frank looked at his son coming up the driveway with his best authoritarian stare. "You weren't supposed to be going out tonight. If I can't trust you to be home when I'm here, how can I trust you to stay at home and take care of your mother when I'm gone? We talked about this."

"Sorry sir," he grumbled shuffling his feet.

Frank nodded. "Before you leave for school it is especially important you spend as much time at home as you can. You're mother needs you here not running around, school is different and I'll figure that out but until then, she is your responsibility. Do you understand?" Frank asked not understanding the weight he was putting on his son's shoulders.

"Yes sir!"

"Good, go inside, clean up and get to bed, it's late." Frank made sure his will was done then went to his own room. Denise was changing, usually she did it in the bathroom, but tonight she didn't bother with that.

She heard him come into the room. "Jeremy go to bed?"

"Yeah," Frank replied. "I told him what's expected a million damn times, Dee! I do not know how to get it through his head, what is so hard about keep your word, do your duty? I don't get it!" Frank began undressing.

"Go easy on him," she soothed. She hoped he'd listen. "He's your son."

"Exactly why I can't and won't," Frank replied. "My father didn't go easy on me, in fact, he was ten times harder on me than I am on Jeremy and most of that is because of you."

"Me?"she asked.

"Yes" He took off his uniform shirt, tossed his pack of cigarettes, half smoked since that afternoon, on the nightstand. "You told me the only thing you wanted for our children was for them not to live in fear, and I did my best to give that to you."

"And you did," she said still not understanding why he was mad.

"I know I did and that's the problem," he sighed. He was itching for another cigarette but he promised Denise no smoking in the house and he wanted to be with her. "I didn't discipline as hard as I could have and probably should have and now look what happened. I'm sorry, I'm just...pre-deployment, you...I'm sorry."

"Jeremy turned out fine!" she defended then softened. "Are you mad at me?"

He shook his head, "I'm not mad." He turned to her to see was in a long sleeve yellow nightgown, a winter nightgown, it was June. "Denise..."

"Yeah?"

"What's with the full body armor over there? Are you mad at me!" She did that as a way of telling him she didn't want to make love but they always did before he left and when he came home.

"No, just cold is all," she replied, her heart beating faster.

"I have a remedy for that," he whispered coming closer to her in only his uniform pants.

Denise let him get close; she knew she had to and come up with an excuse for the bruises her son had left on her.

He pulled her close and kissed her, held her to him and rocked in his arms, the very first time he held her he'd done that, she'd needed it then but it became a staple in their lives quickly.

She let him hold her and tried to relax, this was her one safe place in the world.

He always had a way of getting her to do that, to let her guard down, to be vulnerable and before she knew it she was on the bed underneath him, his hands running over her body, up and down her sides, legs, breasts, and arms.

When he hit one of the bigger bruises she couldn't stop the whimper that escaped her lips.

He froze at her sound of distress and pulled back to examine the spots where his hands had just been. He saw the handprint on her arm and his face went red. "What is that?"

"It's just a bruise," she said quickly. "No big deal."

"This is not just a bruise, this is a handprint and that is a very big deal!" He was already losing his temper. "Who did this?"

"Jeremy," she said softly. "I slipped in the kitchen and he caught me to keep me from falling."

He calmed right away, "Boy doesn't know is own strength I guess. You okay?" Back to tender and loving just like that.

"Yeah, I'm okay," she said thankful he bought that.

He smiled down at her and touched her cheek softly. "Tell me next time okay, even if you almost get hurt, I still want to know, all right?"

"Okay."

He went back to showering her with his attentions and Denise relaxed enough to enjoy herself and hopefully give him something as well. An hour later they were snuggled together in bed when Frank broke in a fit of laughter.

Denise looked at him like he was nuts "What's so funny?" she asked.

"Remember that kid I was telling you about? LeBlanc?" Frank asked. "I met his wife."

"Really, that's nice."

"Yeah, but..." Frank was still laughing. "I went over to the table and let him know I was about to address him so he gets up and salutes...and so does she."

Denise laughed. "Poor thing! How embarrassing!"

"I tried not to embarrass her but...That isn't gonna work," Frank observed. "That is just not going to work; still kid is a hell of a soldier, hell of a soldier."

"Well, what's the problem?"she asked.

"She's not a soldier's wife," Frank explained. "Her dress was inappropriate, her manners are sorely lacking, and I doubt she knows how to hold her tongue...Not going to work."

"Frank, from what you said she sounds like a new girl, probably hasn't ever been exposed to army life."

"Exactly," he turned on his side. "I heard a rumor around post about three weeks ago that Leblanc was single and available, not even a girlfriend and now he's married. What do you make of that?"

"Newlywed," she shrugged.

"No girlfriend three weeks ago, now married," Frank repeated. "Sounds like he just met her and went, she'll do." He shook his head. "All I have to say on that is what's under the dress must be pretty darn amazing to put it on the line with such a mismatch."

"Frank!"Denise scolded. "That's rude"

"No, that's true," he laughed.

She laughed. "I guarantee that doesn't compare to what I saw tonight."

"I pretty much betting it does, you first," frank said moving onto is back and pulling her in.

"This woman was in the bathroom," she had to stop to laugh "Must have spilled something on her dress cause when me and Claudia Joy walked in the girl was in nothing but a thong, didn't even seem embarrassed at all."

Frank started laughing again, "Okay I think you win. She wasn't blonde, kind of short with a gold dress and southern accent by any chance was she?"

Denise laughed "Yep."

"I'll bet you that was LeBlanc's wife." The both broke out into laughter until the phone rang.

"Hello," Denise answered.

"Major Sherwood please," the man stated. She handed him the phone.

"Major Sherwood."

He listened to the caller for a few minutes, then hung up. "1000."

Denise sighed.

"I know," he whispered and pulled her closer than before. "I know. I know. It's okay, it'll all be okay."

"I know," she said putting on the fake brave face for him.

He kissed her cheek and got out of bed. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Where are you going?"she asked, she wanted him with her at all times until he had to leave.

"Stepping outside for a few minutes, I'll be right back," he whispered and gave her a little kiss.

"Okay," she said quietly knowing exactly what he was doing, hoping if she acted sad he'd stay with her.

Still the addiction was more powerful than his love for her and the cigarettes won.

As soon as he was out the door her tears started, she tried to stop them but couldn't.

Jeremy heard his mother start to cry and peaked in the door to see if his dad was with her. He wasn't so he went into the room quietly and sat with her, "Mom?"

She saw him and tried that much harder to stop her tears "Hey honey."

"Where's Dad?" he asked rubbing her arm gently. He had the ability to be very sweet and gentle, until...

"Outside smoking."

"Want some water?" he asked getting up.

She nodded, she had to pull it together, she couldn't let Frank see her like this.

Only Jeremy had other ideas. Instead of getting her water, he went to what she really needed. He opened the door and stepped outside to talk to his dad.

"Dad?"

"You're supposed to be in bed," Frank offered as a reply.

"I know but I heard mom crying," he explained.

"Damn it," Frank swore. "Okay." He handed Jeremy the half smoked cigarette. "Take care of this for me will you."

Jeremy looked at the cigarette, put it out, and then got rid of it.

Frank took the water cup and went back to his wife. She always did this the night before he left but this was a bit excessive, she was actually shaking, not just crying.

She looked up expecting to see Jeremy but saw her husband instead, immediately she tried to hide her face from him, she didn't want him to be upset.

"Jeremy came to get me," Frank told her to stay her evasive measures. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm just being silly."

"Denise," he raised one eyebrow. "Tell me while I'm here and can do something about it."

"You can't," she said crying harder. "That's just it."

He took her into his lap, "What's just it?"

"You're leaving."

He sighed and held her. "I've left before and didn't I come back? Every time I came back, right?"

"Yeah."

"I'm coming back this time too," he told her firmly. "I know it's a little different this time after this spring but that's all okay now and everything is going to be just fine. Don't be scared, baby."

"I'm trying really hard not to be," she said. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, but remember what happened the last time you go scared like this, you don't want that again right?"

"No," she said clinging to him.

"That's right, so let's not be scared, let's not get upset, let's just enjoy this time together and I promise while I'm over there, if you calm down now, I'll take my medicine every day and I'll quit smoking."

She nodded and took a few deep breaths to calm down but stayed in his arms not even attempting to move.

"That's my girl," he whispered happy that she listened and worked to calm down."There we go." He kissed her.

"Don't let me go until you have to," she said. "Please."

He nodded, "Well I have to right now because I have to use the bathroom,' he joked. "I'll be right back and we can get a little sleep, hmm?"

She nodded and he put her down and went to the bathroom and came back, she was still awake waiting on him.

He lay in the bed beside her and pulled her close to him. "I love you." He said firmly so she had no chance of misunderstanding.

"I love you too," she said and snuggled as close to him as she could get and laid her head on his chest.

They stayed that way until the bugle announced it was time go on with their day, this day being harder than the others, this day being one that would separate them in body, but as they held each other on the tarmac to say their goodbyes, they both knew nothing would ever separate their souls.


	2. Who We Are   A

Frank and Denise were on their way home after she picked him up from the tarmac, he had been in a plane crash and Denise was sure she had lost him but she hadn't.

Still there was something not totally right about him, he'd held her and their son, he'd made his speech, but the man beside her now was not her husband.

"You okay honey?"she asked.

He nodded but was very quiet. He only did this if he was sad, angry, or not feeling well. She knew he was tired so she offered to let him nap while she made his favorite meal.

He agreed and went straight to bed when they got home.

"Did you tell him?" Jeremy asked his mother as she began making dinner. "He's acting weird."

"No," she replied focused on their meal.

"Did anyone tell him? I'm going to tell him, but what's he doing?" Jeremy was concerned as well, Frank was never one to be jetlagged or shell shocked or have trouble shifting gears so this was new ground for them.

"No, I don't know what's wrong but I'm worried," Denise told their son.

"He'll talk when he' ready I guess," Jeremy supplied. "Can I go out tonight?"

"I'd rather you didn't."

"I have a date," he offered hoping she'd let him.

She sighed, "Okay, go."

"After dinner I'll go, deal?" Jeremy wanted to be nice to his mom. "Is that fair?"

"Yeah," she said. "Go on and have fun."

Jeremy smiled, "You'll like her a lot," he assured her just as they hear Frank call for her.

Denise looked at Jeremy worried then went to Frank's side.

He looked like he was trying to move to get out of bed and wasn't having much luck. He had his arm across his middle and the other hand curled in a fist.

She hurried over to the bedside. "Frank, honey what's wrong?"she asked concerned.

"Got stiff," he replied laughing it off. "I wanted some aspirin, damn ribs are aching."

"I'll get it, lay still."

He hated having to admit he was hurting to his wife, he'd heard about how she handled his crash and he didn't like she upset herself so much. He slid back into bed, "You know you're getting old when something that didn't slow you down lays you up," he laughed.

"You're not old, you were in a plane crash," she said brining him some aspirin.

"Helicopter crash, we weren't going that fast or that high, still...it was a damned mess, blood, gas, fires..." He shuddered. "Something weird about someone my age, making it out and 5 kids are dead, that's odd in the way of the world, I got married, I had a child, I saw him grow, I have a lot more life to live but at least I lived some of it."

"Don't go there," Denise said firmly and looked as if she had the wind knocked out of her.

He nodded, "Wake me in an hour. Jeremy's home for the night, yeah?"

"No he left," she said.

"I thought he'd have stayed home since..." frank looked hurt and disappointed.

"It's okay," she said. "I'll fix dinner then wake you."

He nodded and she went to finish making their meal. She wanted to call Jeremy to have him come back home, she hated seeing Frank sad or hurting and he was doing both. She did call her son after much debate.

"Hello," a young girl answered his cell phone.

"Amanda?" Denise was surprised. "Did I misdial?"

"No, , you got the right number," she said.

"Can I talk to my son?" Denise asked, Frank would flip.

"Yeah hold on one second," she said and handed Jeremy the phone.

"Jeremy, that we'll talk about later but I'd like for you to come home for dinner," Denise told him.

"Mom I can't," he said. "We just ordered our food, I'll be home later."

"Dad's not..." Denise caught herself. "Come home right after, your father wants to spend time with you."

"Okay," he sighed.

"Thank you,' Denise smiled. "He's not feeling well, and he wants to spend time. I'm sorry I interrupted your date."

"It's fine," he said. "I'll be home in two hours tops."

"Thank you." Denise put the phone down and finished cooking. She didn't' have to wake Frank; he came on his own when he smell their meal.

"Hey soldier," Denise said smiling.

He smiled, "I thought I smelled a roasted chicken." He gave her a little kiss. "What was so important Jeremy had to run off my first night home?"

"Not sure," she lied. "But I'm sure he'll be home soon."

Frank nodded, "Girl."

Denise laughed "I doubt it."

"Why? He's a good looking kid, he's smart, he's a little short sighted but we'll talk about that later, we were engaged at his age."

"Yes but he wouldn't ditch you to hang out with a girl," she said continuing to play dumb.

"Sure he would," Frank chuckled. "I would have ditched pretty much anyone to have spent a minute with you and I did remember? My father had over two one stars and I snuck out my window and took to you to dinner. After you cleaned me up from falling into my mom's rosebush."

Denise laughed "Yes I remember, you almost got me shipped to boarding school for sneaking out of my house."

"And if I remember right that's why I proposed," Frank recalled. "To let them know I wasn't just some idiot kid who wanted to get the prettiest girl on post in my bed."

Denise laughed. "I think you were the only soldier that didn't."

"Yes, I remember several rounds of extra duty for knocking a couple of them out," Frank sighed and held her. "But soon it got around who you belonged to." She stiffened, "Belonged?"

He looked at her, she seemed to have went from happy to upset in seconds.

"What?" she looked at him like he was out of his mind.

"Frank, I'm your wife, not property, don't treat me like I am," she said a little angry.

"Baby, I've never treated you like that, what's the hell?" Hhe was upset. "We BELONG to each other is what I meant!"

"No you didn't," she countered,he had never in their entire marriage seen her act like this.

Frank was shocked, then hurt, then angry. He backed up but spoke very clearly, "Don't you ever talk to me like that again. You are forgetting yourself Denise."

"No, I'm just damn tired of being treated like everyone's property!" she said then went outside.

Frank shook his head then checked the calendar, that had to be why she was acting up. But it wasn't not even close.

He thought about going after her when the scapegoat for her new attitude called on the phone. "Sherwood," he barked.

"Frank it's Roxy, is Denise around?"she asked.

"Major Sherwood," he quickly corrected. "And yes she is but she can't come to the phone right now."

"Okay," Roxy said. "Well can you do me a favor and tell her I called it's important."

"I can if you tell me what constitutes important, who you are might be nice too," Frank was in a bad mood and this poor girl was on the receiving end of it.

"It's Roxy LeBlanc."

"That's a start, and what is so urgent, Mrs. LeBlanc?" Frank asked.

"I need Denise to come check Trevor's knee," she said.

"We have a hospital for that," Frank replied. "Denise is busy tonight, with her family."

"Okay, sorry to bother you," she said and hung up the phone.

Frank waited another ten minutes to see if Denis would come back inside.

But she didn't.

Finally he knew he'd better apologize so he got up and went to look for her.

She was sitting on the porch in the freezing cold looking at her wedding ring.

"Get in the house, it's spring but it's cold out at night," Frank told her. "Go on before you get sick."

"No Frank, leave me alone," she said not even looking up at him.

"I can't leave you alone, you are my wife, I love you very much, and you're going to get sick if you don't get into the house now."

"It's not that cold," she said but the chill bumps on her legs and arms made a liar out of her.

"It's that cold, go on, inside now," he was ready to enforce that request if necessary.

"No Frank, I said leave me alone!"

"And I said I couldn't," he went over to her and gently pulled her up, lifted her and carried her inside inside of the stabbing pain in his chset from doing it.

"Put me down damn it!"she said getting more angry

He didn't put her down until she was inside the house. It was pretty clear he was sore from that move and more angry than she'd ever seen him. "What the Hell was that?" he thundered at her. "You never behaved like that in our entire marriage!"

"Go to hell Frank!" she yelled and went to their room and slammed the door, leaving him completely stunned, as soon as that door closed though she began sobbing. She had never acted like this toward anyone especially her husband and she didn't know why she was doing it.

Frank had enough of this mystery, got on the phone and called the Holden house.

"Hello," Claudia Joy answered.

"Good, Claudia Joy, this is Frank, how are you?" he asked trying to be polite.

"I'm doing just fine," she said. "And yourself?"

"Okay, I'm fine, um, I was wondering, has Denise been doing anything new or different or just anything that might...something's up and she's not telling me."

"No, not that I've noticed." She didn't want to enlighten this rigid and strict soldier about Denise's new friends.

"I was wondering if she got herself involved in something that might cause her to go all women's lib on me?" he inquired carefully, Claudia Joy was far more liberal than Denise but she'd not lie to him.

"No, she's a little snappier than usual but nothing big."

He sighed, "Thanks. I was wondering if she made herself some new friends or anything, she's influenced easily, I'm sure you know that."

"No, well I mean Mrs. Leblanc and Mrs. Moran but I'm friends with them too."

Frank nodded, "I see, it's good to have friends, and I'm glad she's showing Mrs. Leblanc how things work around here."

"Actually that's the other way around, Roxy is too hard headed to let anyone show her anything," Claudia Joy laughed.

"I see, and just what has Mrs. LeBlanc been teaching my wife?" Frank finally was getting this figured out.

"Just how to speak her mind is all," she said. "Denise always let people push her over, she's smart and brave. You always saw that in her but other didn't."

"She always was shy with anyone but me," he sighed. "Thank you, I think I know how to handle this now."

"No problem," she said and hung up.

Frank knew his wife well, the best way to get her to do what he wanted her to do was to do what she wanted first. He went to their room and knocked, "Dee?"

"Come in," she said, she was still crying.

He went inside and sat on their bed. "I'm sorry. I was rude, I was hurtful, I didn't mean to be. I'm sorry."

"No, I was a witch. I had no right to raise my voice at you. I'm sorry."

"Dee, don't talk about yourself that way please," Frank asked. "Let's just put it behind us, I'm home for a few weeks, let's just connect."

She nodded and finally looked at him for the first time in over an hour.

He had a hurt behind his eyes that she'd never seen before and she had a fire in hers that he not seen in a long time.

"I'm sorry," she said again.

"It's okay come here," Frank replied.

She smiled and went and let him hold her.

He rubbed her back and kissed her, "Is dinner ready?"

"Yeah, it should be."

"Let's go eat it and watch one of those movies you like so much," Frank laughed. "Come on."

Denise smiled and nodded and got up, she took his hand and led him o the living room, making him sit down. "I'll get it, you sit still," she told him.

"I can help," Frank protested.

"No, you're in pain and I made it worse when you picked me up, I'll get it," she said again shifting back to familiar territory.

"I'm fine, you're my wife, not my slave," he was trying to let her know he got that.

"I know" she said gently and offered a smile. "But I want to, you're hurting, please sit still."

He nodded and sat in his usual place at the dinner table. As Denise was putting the food out Jeremy came in and the look on Frank's face made her heart melt, he looked so happy to see their son.

"Hey Jeremy," Denise said smiling.

"Hey, Mom, just in time I see," Jeremy sat in his place and waited for his mother to put the food out. She didn't sit until both her husband and her son had their plates filled; when she did Jeremy did something he'd not done without being asked for a long time, he offered the blessing thanking God for his mother and his father's safe return. Denise choked up knowing this blissful moment would be shattered.

After he finished Denise looked at both of them and smiled "It's great to have you both here."

Frank nodded, "I only have one regret, that this isn't a double celebration. I'm not going to talk about it tonight but we will talk about it soon, son."

Jeremy looked at his mother but nodded.

They made some more small talk, Denise gave them dessert, then she stood up, "Jeremy you can lock up, I'm going to put Dad to bed, he's had a big day." She rubbed Frank's back, "Come on honey."

He nodded and they went to bed.

"Now," Denise smiled. "You get into bed and rest, I want to see those bruised that are hurting you so badly and make sure that's all it is." Nurse mode, this was an improvement.

He nodded and got into bed and laid down.

She looked at the bruising and gently traced each one with her fingers. "Can I ask you to do something for me please?"

"Yeah honey, what is it?"he said

"Go easy on him, Frank," Denise asked him. "No matter what he says, don't be too hard on him, please."

He sighed, "I won't."

"Thank you, you don't need that pressure and he's trying, he's really trying," Denise replied. She kissed him, "I love you."

"I love you too, Baby," he whispered.

She kissed him again, then again, trying to tell him what she wanted without asking, he'd never want her to be the aggressor.

He smiled, he was starting to figure out what she wanted.

He pulled her close, "It's fine," he whispered. "It won't hurt." That was all it took for them to reconnect.

They spent the rest of the night making love until, they fell asleep in each other's arms.


	3. Who We Are B

Denise went and sat beside Frank on the sofa hoping he'd talk to her, he hadn't said a word since he kicked Jeremy out of the house after finding out that he hit her.

She gently placed her hand on his thigh, moving it up and down gently. "I'm sorry."

He just looked at her. "Frank, please talk to me."

"Now you want to talk?" His temper was still simmering under the surface. "Now you want to talk! What about before? What about talking when I got home and telling me the damn truth!"

"Frank I didn't tell you because I didn't want to upset you and I knew you'd make him leave!"

"Damn right I'd make him leave!" He shouted and got up. "He's hitting you! Hitting his own mother and you want me to let him stay?"

He was baffled she'd even think of it.

"Yes I do! He apologized Frank, he didn't mean it!" she insisted.

"He didn't mean it! He apologized!" Frank was getting even more upset. "Do you hear yourself? You sound just like every other battered woman out there. He's sorry, it doesn't make a damn bit of difference that's he sorry!"

"Frank calm down."

"I'm not going to calm down until you stop this," he was pacing now, wringing his hands. "You sounded just like your mother, just like you did that night at my apartment."

"Don't bring my mother into this!" she snapped.

"What about you?" Frank asked. "What about the night you came to my apartment after...you could barely walk or can't I bring that up either because it doesn't suit you right now!"

"That was totally different," she sighed.

"Was it?" Frank asked. "Seems the same to me."

**Ft. Bliss  
1989**

It was 2 AM, Frank was asleep, he living in a small studio just off post, the TV was still on but what woke him was what he swore to be scratching, like a cat or a kitten at his door.

He got up and half asleep made his way to the door and opened it.

He wasn't prepared for this, Denise, the woman he loved, and planned to marry was on his doorstep, on the ground, her face and arms a mass of blood and bruises and by the posture the rest of her body was the same way.

She was sobbing and shaking, the moment she saw him she cried harder, her whole body hurt and she was scared.

"Oh my God!" he gasped and got down beside her. "Dee, baby?" He wanted to grab her and hold her but he was too afraid of hurting her. "Come here," he told her gently.

She collapsed against him sobbing for all she was worth.

"I'm gonna pick you up," he told he softly. "Going to pick you up and get you inside, then we'll fix it, okay?" He was infinitely gentle lifting her but she was still cried out in pain the whole time.

He got her inside and put her on the couch, she was bleeding from several places on her face and arms and by the way she was holding her ribs he figured they were in just as bad of shape as the rest of her body.

He got a bowl of water and some moist rags and cleaned her face and arms gently not speaking. "Can I see?" he asked tugging gently on the hem of her shirt.

She nodded slowly and let him lift her shirt; she had big bruises all over her abdomen.

He was going to be sick, but when he rolled her over to check her back, that's what really did it, she had a boot print sideways along the small of her back. He was shaking he was so angry but now wasn't the time for that.

She sat up slowly after he cleaned her up and tried to burry herself in his arms,trying to hide from something.

He was gentle as he held her and even more so as he spoke to her, "Dee, you need to go to the hospital, honey. We need to see what damage is inside sweetheart."

She shook her head. "No, please," she sobbed.

"Yes, we have to," he insisted. "I'll be right there with you, no one's going to hurt you, I promise. We'll go and get you checked and talk to the police."

"No police," she begged. "He'll go to jail."

"Yes, he'll go to jail, that's where the animal belongs, under the damn jail," Frank was showing his anger now. "It's the jail or a box because if I get to him, the only place he'll be safe is in a jail."

Denise stiffened and pull back, his tone frightened her.

He sighed, "I'm sorry, baby, I'm just upset someone did this to you. Who was it? That Quinn guy again?"

"No," she said quietly. "It...it was my dad."

"Your father?" Frank was shocked, he liked her father, Denise even seemed to be a bit of a Daddy's girl. "Then he has to be punished, we'll go off post, talk to the police and make sure he faces court martial and never hurts you or your mother or sisters again."

Denise only nodded, she was still shaking.

"Can you walk?" He wasn't sure she could even stand and he didn't know how she got here.

Denise nodded but when she stood up she cried out in pain and dropped back down sobbing.

"It's okay, I'll carry you, just be still," he lifted her and carried her to the back of his truck. "Just lie still."

She did as he said and she had almost cried herself to sleep when they got to the hospital.

Frank wasn't sure if it was exhaustion or weakness so he rushed her inside and handed her over to the nurses, then he waited...

After an hour a nurse came out. "How is she?" he asked immediately.

"She'll be fine, bruises, cuts, three broken ribs and a fractured tale bone," the nurse replied. "We've called the police."

"Can I see her?"

"What's your name?" He might have been the one that hurt her.

"Frank Sherwood," he replied. "I'm her fiancé."

"Yes you can see her," the nurse replied. "That's the only thing she's said since we got her back was she wanted us to get you. Cubical three."

He nodded and went back to where she was, she was saying his name over and over while fighting sleep.

He took her hand and held it, "Sleep my love," he whispered. "You won't hurt again, I promise."

"Frank, I want to go home, they called the police," she said. "He's going to know I told."

"He's going to know you told anyway because once I get you settled I'm going to see him about it and both will be safer if he's in jail."

"Don't leave me," she said, her eyes were closing but she was fighting it.

"Never," he whispered and started to rub her hair so she'd drop off and let the medication work.

It didn't take long and she dozed off.

**Present Day**

"This is different," Denise argued. "He didn't apologize when he hit me, he didn't until after he stopped hitting me, it is not the same thing and if you want to point a finger we should both find some mirrors."

"What?"

"Yes, how do you think he learned this?" she asked. "How do you think he learned the way to get me to agree to something or anyone to agree to something is to shout and yell and be intimidating?"

"What are you saying Denise?"

"He learned to be intimidating from watching you." The hurt look on his face nearly brought her to tears.

"I have never tried to intimidate or frighten you ever!"

'"You don't mean to but you do," she said.

"What?" his voice cracked going up an octave.

"When you scream at me when you're mad, sometimes, I get scared," she confessed.

"I don't scream at you." He honestly never thought he did.

"Yes you do," she said. "You've done it in front of Michael and Claudia Joy before."

"When?" his voice was getting softer, his jaw tighter.

"Just Monday, you got mad at me and screamed at me in front of them," she said.

**One Week Earlier**

The couples were having lunch, Frank had been home only a day and wasn't feeling up to it but Denise set it up, just glad to spend any time she could with her husband. They went to a little restaurant in North Charleston.

"This place is nice," Denise said smiling.

"It's okay," Frank replied moving very carefully, the bruising on the inside was starting to ache now.

"What's wrong? You've barely said a word since we've been here."

"Nothing I'm just tired," he replied, but in truth he was angry that she'd made these plans without him or giving any consideration to how he might be feeling.

"Okay," she said and they continued to eat.

Michael and Claudia Joy were right on time and the ladies got to gossiping right off then they lowered the boom, "I was thinking we'd do the reception on Friday," Claudia Joy said. "Is that alright with you Frank?"

"It's fine," Denise answered knowing he was in a mood.

But that only made it worse. "Actually, no Claudia Joy, it is not fine. I don't even know what you're talking about."

"Yes it is, ignore him he is in a mood." Denise said rolling her eyes.

He held his tongue until he heard what the reception was about, it was about him, that was it. "Denise, I told you I don't want this, I told you it's not a good day or a good time, what part of that is so hard to understand?"

Denise looked shocked."What is your problem?"

That was it. "Right now you are my problem, Dee!" he thundered. "You are making plans for me, dragging me here and there and I don't want to do any of this, I don't feel like doing, I have no desire to do it, all I want to do is be at home and you continuously insist on my doing anything but!"

That pushed Denise to tears. "Fine Frank, we won't do any of it, just forget I said anything." She barely ate anything and was quiet the rest of the time they were there.

**Present Day**

"I apologized for that," Frank sighed. "I didn't mean it, I was hurting so bad that day."

"You still raised your voice to intimidate me," she said.

"I raised my voice because I was angry; I had no other intention than to vent my own feelings, that is very different than using volume, size, or strength as intimidation."

"No it isn't," she said.

He turned to go to their bedroom then, he couldn't take this anymore. "I'm sorry you feel that way."

Denise sighed and followed him. "Frank, don't walk away."

He turned to her still fighting to keep his emotions hidden, "Why shouldn't I walk away? Why should I stand and listen to you tell me that not only do I frighten you but I'm the reason our son abuses you, that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy so for now I'm going to keep quiet before I express myself and intimidate you again."

"You know what Frank...Fine! I'm going to stay at a hotel tonight. I'm tired of fighting with you, and for the record, I didn't say it was your fault he abused me."

He didn't even answer her, he just lay down on their bed and once he heard the door slam he finally let everything he'd been holding back since the crash out of his heart.

Denise drove to a hotel, she had cried from the moment she left the house, she checked in and tried to just go to sleep but she couldn't. She missed Frank, but after the way she acted she wasn't sure if he'd want her back home or not.

She did the only thing she knew to do, she called Claudia Joy.

"Hello," she answered, she had been asleep.

"Claudia Joy, I'm so sorry I woke you," Denise sounded so upset her friend was on instant crisis mode.

"Denise, sweetie, whats wrong?"

"He knows," she cried. "He knows and he threw him out and...We had a big fight and I'm at the Charleston Inn right now. I want to go home so badly but I was so awful to Frank I know he won't want me, but I'm so worried about him.

Claudia Joy sighed. "Okay honey, calm down I'm sure he misses you. Call him and talk to him, tell him you're sorry, you're both under a lot of stress, but he loves you."

"I can't call him right now, it'll make him feel worse," Denise sniffled. "Could you make check on him until I calm down a little?"

She quickly agreed; anything to help.

"Thanks," Denise whispered and hung up. Michael stirred, "Problems?"

"Yeah, Frank and Denise had a fight because he kicked Jeremy out and Denise is at the Charleston Inn right now, she is understandably upset and wants you to call and check on Frank until she calms down enough to call and talk to him."

"I'll do better than that," Michael said getting dressed. "You go see Frank, I'll go get Denise."

"What?"she asked. "Michael, don't be mean to her. I know he's your friend…"

"I won't," Michael replied. "I intend to be nothing but kind to her, one because she's been through enough and two because I kind of like my nose the way it is."

Claudia Joy laughed a little and got dressed and went to talk to Frank.

He was only half dressed when he let her in, he was sure it was Denise coming back home so he was embarrassed when it was Claudia Joy.

"Hey Frank, Denise called and filled me in, you okay?"she asked.

He nodded, "Yeah, I'm fine except worrying about here. Where is she?"

"The Charleston Inn."

He sighed, "I was stupid. I was really stupid, she was trying to talk to me and I didn't' like what she had to say so I...Do I yell at her? Do I frighten her?"

Claudia Joy sighed. "Sometimes, you don't do it intentionally though and she knows that deep down."

"I know but, Monday, was that what you mean?" If he was harming his wife and didn't know it he wanted to make sure he never did it again.

"Yeah, you scared her." She was candid.

He sat down and put his face in his hands, "Then I did teach him how to hurt his mother."

"No you didn't," she said firmly. "That is not at all the same thing."

"Yeah I did," Frank replied. "And I don't know how to make it up to her."

Meanwhile, Denise was startled by the knock on her door. "Who is it?"

"It's me Denise," Michael called.

Denise opened the door and looked at him, "He's okay, tell me he's okay."

"Yeah, he's okay. How are you?"

"Feeling awful for attacking my husband," Denise replied.

"He's okay," Michael comforted. "You all will work everything out and be fine."

"I blamed him Michael," Denise confessed. "I blamed him for Jeremy."

"You were upset, you're both stressed, you're both tired. It's understandable."

"But he feels like enough of a failure without my adding to it," Denise sighed. "I don't think I'd forgive myself for that and I don't know how he could."

"But he will," he assured her. "Let's get you home so you can talk to him."

She wiped her eyes, "What about my car?

"I'll come get it after I take you home," he assured her. "Don't worry."

"Thank you," Denise replied. "Let's go."

He nodded and she got into his car and he drove her home.

She wasn't in the house more than a minute before the two were in each other's arms snuggling, kissing, whispering apologies with their friends looking on.

Claudia Joy smiled and nodded her head toward the door, "Let's go," she mouthed to her husband.

Michael backed out with Claudia Joy.

"I'm so sorry," Denise whispered. "It's not your fault."

"I'm sorry too," he said holding her close. "I love you. I'm sorry I yelled and I'll try to stop I promise."

She nodded. "I love you too. I missed you." She had only been gone about an hour.

"I missed you too," he whispered. "Let's go to bed, we can talk about this in the morning, but Dee, I can't let him back in here, I can't let him hurt you again, I can't."

She nodded. "Okay." She missed her son and wanted him home but she didn't fight Frank on it, he was just trying to protect her.

He took her to bed with him and kept her close all night. He never did fall asleep, he couldn't until he erased everything that reminded either of them of their son. If he was dead, they'd get rid of his things, and that's what he'd do first thing in the morning.


	4. Hail and Farewell A

And he did, while Denise was asleep he went and took everything out of their son's room and took it outside. After he took it outside he came back in and Denise was awake, standing in the now bare room staring at the blank walls.

"What are you doing?" Denise asked. "I want every trace of him gone." She bodily tried to stop him.

"Frank no," she said. "You can't do this!"

"Denise." He was so hurt and angry.

"No Frank, I know you think you're doing this for me but you need to stop," she demanded. "If you want to help me find our son and bring him home."

"I will not bring him back to this house!" Frank declared. "I will not allow him another chance to do more damage!"

"Frank please," Denise begged tearing up. "He's our son, what if something happens to him?"

"That'll just be poetic justice," Frank replied and left the room.

Denise was shocked and followed him. "You don't mean that!"

"If you knew me as well as I thought you did you'd know that I mean that," he replied. He did what he'd been doing lately, went and laid on the bed on his side.

"I do know you," she sighed. "You're angry, hurt and not thinking."

"I'm angry, I'm not hurt, and I am thinking very clearly!" Frank snapped.

And again Denise backed down but this time he noticed it unlike before.

"God Dee I'm sorry," he sighed. "I'm sorry honey." It made her smile just a little that he noticed what he'd done.

"It's okay."

"No, it isn't," he got up and went to hold her and kiss her cheek. "I'm sorry."

She smiled. "I know, it's okay."

"Can you do me a favor and press my class A's?" he asked her. "I need to make a call."

"Sure," she said, smiling and kissed his cheek.

Denise knew where he was going to go and she knew he'd need her to be anything he required her to be that night, but she still couldn't cast her baby out in the cold and not show him she loves him and forgives him.

She pressed his uniform and he got ready to go make the condolence call.

That night she made spaghetti and meat sauce for dinner, his second favorite meal. She even went by the O Club and got a bottle of his favorite wine and picked up some massage oil at the PX.

He drove to the house of the soldier who had died in his arms, the one who was only a year older than his own son.

The talk he had with that man gave him a lot to think about; he admitted he had a son before he remembered he'd declared the boy to be dead.

By the time he got home late that night he looked like hell.

Denise had their meal ready, wine chilling, music playing, she knew, and he knew she'd know.

"Hey honey," she said.

He smiled, "How did you know?" She made her way to him and burrowed up so she was in his arms.

"It's my job," she said gently.

"Smells good, just let me change," he gave her a kiss then left.

She had his food ready when he was finished changing and a glass of wine.

He smiled and again sat and ate his meal without talking too much. Halfway through the wine relaxed him and he started, "That boy was...involved with another soldier."

"Really," she said "Who?"

"Specialist Jason Owens," Frank replied. "I told is father today about that and...he knew. He already knew."

"Most parents know," Denise replied. "Even before their kids do most times."

"I never would have," he said softly. "But I think that would have been easier to accept. I knew it about those two soldiers, but I didn't know my son was hurting my wife, how does that happen?"

"I hid it too well," she said gently. "I lied to you."

"And normally I can spot you lying a mile away," he sighed. "You wrinkle your nose and play with your wedding band."

"I do?"she asked.

"Yeah you do," he replied. "It's one of those things one a spouse would notice. Like when you laugh at me putting away the mayo because I smell it when I put the jar back, as you pointed out a few years ago."

Denise smiled. "Maybe you knew, you just didn't want to believe it."

"Maybe." He got quiet again. She was getting a little scared, they hadn't made love, they'd talk and he'd go so quiet so quickly she was worried.

"You okay?"she asked after a while.

He nodded and continued to watch his plate to see if the food grew.

Denise was getting really scared now. He's usually go silent, but this was a new level even for him.

He still didn't answer her, he just watched his plate.

"Frank?"

He jumped as if startled, "Hmm? What?"

"You okay honey?"

"Just tired, I have a little headache," he shook it off but Denise knew he'd have a headache and be tired but he never acted like this.

"You sure?" she asked, she was very concerned about him.

He nodded, "I'm going to lie down for an hour." He got up, kissed her cheek and went back to his favorite place lately, their bed, on his side facing the wall.

Denise sighed, she didn't know whether to go with him or stay out of his way.

She sighed and did the only thing she knew to do, called Roland.

He was working late but saw her number and answered, "Hey Denise."

"Hey Roland, are you busy?" she asked, she sounded scared.

"Just reading some new book, studying up," he replied. "You okay?"

"No, I'm worried about Frank," she sighed. "He went to see that soldier's family, you know, the one that died in his arms, he's depressed, I can tell that but he won't talk to me, he'll always talk to ME!"

"Well is he depressed or is he clinically depressed?" Roland asked. "Depressed can be sad or down and he should be after all he's been through, but if it's going on longer than that and something tells me it has, we might be dealing with something more complex."

"It's gone on longer. He's like this a day maybe…and he talks to me Roland. Always," she declared. "It's not just a little depression"

"What's he doing that's telling you he's depressed, not talking, what else...?" Roland was getting ready to go over there.

"He's just different."

"Is he sleeping at night? Does he have a favorite place or position he goes to when he's closing up on you?"

"He stays in our room, on his side of the bed and faces the wall."

"Okay, let me come over and see what I can do without him realizing I'm doing anything," Roland laughed. "I'll call you back, tell him I called and I want to talk, okay?"

She agreed, and hung up to prepare for the visit.

Roland drove to Denise and Frank and knocked on the door Denise let him in "Thank God. I don't know what to do"

"All you can do is love him Denise," Roland sighed. "And you can forgive him."

"Forgive him?"

"He blames himself for your pain, he sees it as his hands on you, you need to understand that," Roland explained. "You need that and so does he. He needs to be needed, you know that about him, you've told me."

She nodded.

"Do you want me to try to talk to him?"

Another nod.

"Okay," Roland nodded. "Go tell him I'm here to talk to you both."

She nodded and went to the bed room "Honey Roland is here to talk to us."

"Just give me another minute," he replied. "Tired."

"Okay," she sighed and left the room.

Roland and Denise waited and waited and waited...but he didn't come.

Denise sighed, "He won't come in here."

Roland nodded, "I know you're worried about him Denise. Tell me what you're scared of."

"Afraid he's going to get so far gone he's going to leave me," she admitted.

"Leave you how?" Roland pressed. He knew if Denise cried and Frank heard her, if there was any emotion left, he'd come.

"Leave me, pack his things and leave me for good, realize he can do better," she said, her voice cracked.

"Do better?" Roland was surprised at that answer. "Better how?

"Find someone better," she said and broke down crying.

"Better than what?" he pressed. "Why aren't you good enough?"

She shook her head, sobbing.

"Why?" Roland asked, getting more aggressive. "Come on Frank," he said to himself.

Denise didn't answer just continued to sob, and now Frank heard it, he heard his wife's cries in the living room. He didn't want to get up, he was so tired and his body ached, his head, his legs and arms throbbed, his joints burned...Maybe she'd stop on her own.

Denise was sobbing so hard she was starting to feel sick.

Roland was sure the gamble would pay off. "Why aren't you good enough for him Denise?"

"I'm just not good enough, not pretty enough, not a good wife, not obedient enough, not loyal enough!" She was hysterical now.

"And that's why your son hit you," Roland stated. "He was doing what Frank should have done, wasn't he?"

"Yes."

"And you want him to do it, don't you?" Roland asked her. She was so far gone in her own head, it was a miracle they were both alive and somewhat stable.

"Yes!"

"Go tell him then," Roland encouraged and stood up. "Go tell him that, tell him, say "Frank, I'm an awful person and I deserve to be beaten. Tell him to stop protecting you, tell him."

Denise did as he said and it completely shocked Frank.

"What the Hell is in your head woman!" Roland heard from the bedroom. "Who the Hell..."

He went to the bed room "Frank, she isn't herself, she thinks you're going to leave her because she isn't good enough for you. That she deserves to be beaten."

"She's out of her freaking mind and you're a pretty rotten shrink if ten minutes with you did that!" He grabbed her and pulled her in as if to protect her from Roland.

"She's been holding that in Frank, she's been holding that in for a while"

He wrapped his arms around her and held her, "That's ridiculous, I'd have known. I'd have known she was doing that."

"No, you wouldnt have. She's been holding this in for a long time,s he thinks she isn't good enough, don't you Denise?"

She nodded slowly, "Jeremy knew it, he did what you should have. What you wanted to."

Frank pulled back a bit and looked at her, "What I wanted to?"

"You got so mad, you wanted to hit me," she cried. "You know you did"

He shook his head, "No. Never. Never."

"Yes you did and I deserved it I'm a terrible wife and mother and person!"

"Look at me," Frank commanded. "Look at me, Denise."

She obeyed with huge tear soaked eyes.

"I never, never, ever wanted to hit you, sweetheart. I've gotten angry, but I never wanted to hurt you. Ever."

Denise only nodded and continued to sob; this had been eating at her for a while

"So why do you Frank?" Roland ventured. "Why do you hit her?"

"What?" he asked "I've never hit her, ever!"

"Not with your fists or your hands, you don't but every time you freeze her out, every time you turn her away, every time you choose silence over conversation in anger, you might as well as have. And those bruises don't heal, they just build and swell and bleed until finally the pressure is so hard and so strong you can't stop and then, it breaks...and then only the strong survive, only the strong come back as they were from what you have in your arms right now."

Frank then had his slap in the face, he realized what he had been doing.

"I know you're hurting, Frank, I know you feel like you failed her and your son, but you only fail when you don't learn from your mistakes. Why are you crying in here and Denise out there?"

"I don't want to upset her," he said quickly, and Roland knew it was true.

"And the alternative is so much better," Roland demonstrated to the still sobbing mess in his arms.

He sighed "No."

Roland nodded and left, he'd done his job, he broke down the wrong wall, but still, he'd broken through.

Frank held Denise in his arms while she continued to sob into his chest.

Finally she calmed and sagged against him, "I want my baby."

"Jeremy?" he asked.

She nodded. "I want him, I want my baby."

"Denise..." He began…

"Frank please I want my baby, please!"

"I know," Frank sighed. "I know, but sweetheart, I can't, I can't let him hurt you."

"He won't but please, I want my baby," she pleaded.

"Okay," he sighed. "Okay, if you can find him, he can come home."

She nodded. "Thank you."

He let her go and laid back down, she'd hoped but...

Denise sighed "Don't do this Frank, don't shut me out."

He nodded, "I'm not. I'm lying down because there's not a part of me that doesen't hurt."

She nodded "Can I lay with you?"

He moved back so there was plenty of room for her to crawl into his arms and be close.

She smiled and snuggled in as close as she could get.

"Was what he said true?" Frank asked after a long time of being silent.

"Who?"

"Roland," Frank sighed. "Does it hurt as much as when...when I'm quiet after we fight, when I get angry and don't talk, does it hurt like I hit you? Is that true?"

She sighed and nodded. "Sometimes I wish you'd just slap me, it'd hurt less."

"I won't ever hit you," he assured her. "And I'll try not to...I know I can be mean, I know that, that's why I get quiet, so I don't hurt you, but I do and I don't want that."

She nodded. "I know you don't."

"I've never loved anything in my life more than you."

"I know, I love you too," she whispered."I just feel like I don't deserve you sometimes."

He laughed at her, "That feelings mutual then cause I know I don't deserve you."

"Yes you do," she said then added quietly. "You deserve better."

"There isn't anyone better," he whispered. "Not for me."

She nodded, he could see that she was feeling very insecure but he wasn't sure why.

He moved so she was beneath him, so he was all she could see. "You don't believe me."

She just shrugged.

"I'll show you." And show her he did, with his hands, his mouth, his lips...they never made love on Monday and never ever during the day, he took his time too, hoping she'd feel what he felt for her through his hands, he didn't have the words.


	5. Hail and Farewell B

Denise didn't speak during dinner two nights later, in fact, dinner was burned and the wine mismatched with their meat. She never did that. She also didn't want dessert, to take a walk, or to sit and be held like she had been the other nights since Roland's visit. Frank was worried, worried sick.

He was going to ask her what was wrong but before it was even dark she told him, "I'm going to go on to bed."

"Dee, honey, wait a minute," he said gently. "Let's go for a drive, you and me, sun's setting, it'll be nice."

"Maybe some other night okay? I have a headache." It was no lie.

"Want me to run you a bath or rub your shoulders or something?" he wanted to do something to get her to talk to him.

"No, it's okay. I'm just going to go to bed." She was pale, he thought she might be getting sick, but she wasn't, she was scared, scared to tell him their son had enlisted in the Army and was going away.

He let her go then went on the porch to make a call to Michael, maybe he did something he didn't know he did.

"Hello," Emmalin answered.

"Hi, Emmalin, can I talk to your mom or dad?" Frank asked the teen. She was so cute, Amanda was the jewel in the Holden crown but Emmalin, she stole his heart.

"Yeah, Mom's asleep but let me get Dad," she said and went to take the phone to her father.

"Hello," Michael said a moment later.

"Sir, Major Sherwood, sorry to bother you at home."

"No problem, but Denise already asked, nothing I can do," Michael sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Asked what?"

"About the enlistment, once he's tested and signed he's in for the term and even at this level, nothing I can do, I'm sorry Frank."

"Who enlisted?"he asked confused.

"Jeremy," Michael replied." She didn't tell you...I'm sorry. Amanda took her to see him today, she came back upset, I can't do anything, I wish I could."

"My boy enlisted," he said, now he understood what was wrong with his wife

"Yes." Michael was firm, "I can't fix it Frank."

"I understand sir. Thank you." He hung up the phone and went to the bedroom where Denise was.

She was sleeping or at least pretending, he'd let her have the time, she'd tell him when she was able.

He went back to the living room and sat down.

She came out a couple hours later to for a cuddle but still wouldn't talk.

She sat down beside of him and leaned into him wanting to be held

He held her but didn't try to talk to her. He knew she had to do it in her own time, but it hurt a lot that she'd go to Michael before him, that she'd go to Amanda to see their son and not tell him, as much as he loved Denise and it was a lot, lately all she did was hurt him.

"I'm sorry Frank," she said after a few minutes.

"For what baby?" he asked just holding her to his chest, letting her take, again...

"For shutting you out," she replied. "I haven't been completely honest with you about something and I..."

He did something now that really surprised her. Now that she was read to talk, he wasn't ready to listen. He moved her off his lap. "Can we talk later? I'm not feeling well."

She sighed but nodded "Sure."

He kissed her cheek and got ready for bed. He didn't look sick or even tired, but he'd never lie to her about that. She always got herself so upset when he was sick with even the littlest thing, she remembered a cold he'd had when they were dating, seeing him anything but strong was too tough to take. She followed an hour later, he was on his side, back to her but she knew he wasn't asleep. "I saw Jeremy today. He enlisted, Frank. Our son enlisted..."

Frank didn't say anything, just laid there.

"Say something," Denise pressed after a minute. Finally she got a quite and tense, "I don't know what to say anymore."

Denise sighed. "Frank, please, just say something," she nearly begged. "I know your mad but say something."

"I'm not mad," he replied. "Anyway I already knew."

"You knew?"

Now he was mad. He got up out of bed and wanted to just walk away but the image of her sobbing in his arms just a few days ago stopped him, he paced instead. "Of course I knew, Dee! What kind of husband would I be if I saw how you were acting at dinner and even before and didn't try to find out why. I called Michael he told me everything!"

Denise cringed. "Frank...I'm sorry...I didn't know how to tell you, I was scared to tell you."

"You were scared to? I didn't think I could feel any worse than I did a couple of seconds ago, wrong again! You went to my CO, my friend, behind my back and asked him to break the rules for our son who in my eyes and his is a criminal! Why didn't you come to me?"

"I panicked! I wanted it fixed and I knew if anyone could Michel could and do it quickly and with the atmosphere the way it is with you two I didn't think you'd care"

"This just keeps getting worse!" he stopped pacing and started dressing.

"Where are you going?"

"Out!" he snapped and quickly left the house.

He was surprised when before he even got to his truck, Denise was behind him. "Frank don't leave like this, don't leave mad! Yell at me, fight with me, do whatever you want but don't leave like this!"

"Denise, do you want to know why I don't fight with you when I'm angry?" he asked.

"Why?"

"Because I'm afraid to," he confessed. "I'm afraid that if I do one day I'm going to say something I can't take back, one day I'm going to lose my temper and in anger end up destroying us, and I couldn't live with that."

He sat down on the sofa, "Do you remember right before we conceived Jeremy, our other baby?"

She nodded.

"You got up that night and were in pain and started bleeding," he swallowed. "I sat with Dad in the waiting room and when they came and said the baby died but you'd be fine I said, "Thank God." If I'd said that to you there'd never have been a Jeremy."

Denise sighed.

"All I thought about that night was thanking God my wife was all right and that's all I thought about, Dee. That's all I ever thought about and that's why we're in this mess."

"So how do we fix it?"

"I don't know." He shook his head. "How do you go back in time? How do you tell your son he's more to you than a babysitter."

"You just tell him," she said firmly.

"I saw him as a little man, someone I could trust to protect you, I never considered I'd have to teach him how."

Denise just sat quietly and let him talk.

"I'd see such terrible things happening in my dreams," he confessed. "Getting killed was the easiest part, but...I'd see you..." He had to stop.

"Me?"she asked

"See you trying to make it alone, not being able to of course, you left school for me, your family...I'd see you marry someone else and he didn't love you like I did or protect you and I knew I had to make sure someone would so...I used our child for that...I used my own boy..." He had to stop talking, he was battling tears and trying to breathe and failing both.

"Frank, oh honey," Denise said seeing him in tears she pulled him close hoping he didn't pull away.

Finally it broke, finally...she knew it was coming for days but he'd pushed it down. Still he was fighting it.

"Frank don't," she whispered "Don't fight the tears honey," he told her the exact same thing when she tried to do that.

He kept fighting it, he knew if he let it go he might not be able to get his control back as quickly as he'd like, he was actually holding his breath to maintain some form of physical control.

Finally Denise had an idea, she got up and went to their bedroom, to Jeremy's baby album. She got out an old picture of her husband and her son, Jeremy was so tiny still looking up at this father as Frank fed him his first bottle with such love and trust...it was her favorite picture. She took it to their sofa, and put it in his hands.

"Don't fight Frank," she said gently.

Seeing that picture and hearing her soft words made him unable to fight and he finally let it go. Frank didn't cry often, when he did it was explosive and long and draining on him and on Denise.

It took an hour but he finally got it all out and calmed down. He was starting to fall asleep against her breast, "Come on honey, let's go to bed." She stood and pulled him up with her.

It took an hour but he finally got it all out and calmed down. he was starting to fall asleep against her breast, "Come on honey, let's go to bed." She stood and pulled him up with her.

He put his arm around her waist and they walked to their room together to get some sleep and begin to heal.


	6. Only the Lonely Pre Episode

Denise and Frank were lying in bed one night when she turned and curled into his side. "Can I tell you something and have you not get mad?"

"I hate conversations that start like that," he said laughing.

"It's good I think," she whispered. "I miss our son and you're gone a lot and...I signed up to go back and finish my RN degree. My first class is tomorrow at Mercer."

"Dee," he sighed, he didn't want her going back to work.

"You don't like the idea?" She needed this, she really needed this.

"No honey, you don't need to work," he said. "Why? I support us just fine. You've been so tired these last few weeks; don't think I didn't see it."

"I'm fine now."

"You were having trouble getting up just this morning," he reminded her. "You already signed up didn't you?"

She hesitated but nodded.

His jaw tightened and she started to cry, "I have lost so much," she told him through tears. "Can't you give me this, please?"

"Denise, don't do that. You know I hate to see you upset!" he said trying not to give in to her tears.

She got out of bed, "You have NO IDEA what I've been going through!" she shouted at him. "You have no idea at all, okay? None!"

"Denise I..." He started but she cut in…

"NO! You know what, forget it! " she said and left the room.

Now he felt awful, he'd have to give in or he'd feel worse.

He got up and followed her, she was in the kitchen standing against the counter with her head in her hands sobbing.

He went up behind her and held her like that, "Okay, okay, it's okay with me but...Where is this coming from baby? What are you going through that I'm not going through with you?" She turned in his arms and looked at him, "I failed you. I failed you in the worse way a woman can and...I failed myself, I am so empty inside, my only child is gone, I don't know if I'll ever see him again, I can't give you more children, and you're gone so much." She wiped her eyes.

He sighed and pulled her close and held her, hoping she'd let him.

She did, she melted into him and sobbed in his arms and apologized again and again and again for nothing.

He held her tighter and kissed her hair. "Baby, you have nothing to apologize for, nothing."

She mumbled something against him through her tears about babies and not having babies for him

"We have Jeremy honey,we have the boy and that's not your fault,your body just can't handle it sweetie"he said rubbing her back

"A real woman, a good wife could," she sniffled. "I want to do this for me to stop the pain and for you too so you can be proud of me."

"I am proud of you baby"he said

Neither of them expected the phone to ring, it was after midnight

That terrified Denise and she started sobbing harder, she hated late night phone calls.

Frank got it, "Major Sherwood." Nothing but silence.

"Hello," Frank said a little louder.

"Hey, Dad," Jeremy said cautiously. "Can I talk to Mom?"

"Why, son? It's after midnight, are you okay?" he asked. He couldn't keep the parental instinct down.

"Yeah, just want to okay?" Jeremy was nervous, but his father's anger seemed to be softened, perhaps because he knew.

"Okay," he said. "Denise, honey, it's Jeremy."

She took the phone, "Don't say anything Mom, Amanda told me what happened. I'm really sorry; it would have been cool to have a brother or sister. Are you okay?"

"Yeah,I'm okay," she whispered.

"Did you tell dad?" he asked.

"No," she whispered past the tears.

"You should," Jeremy sighed. "He needs to know. I love you. I'll call soon."

"Okay, I love you too, be safe," she said and hung up the phone and surprising to Frank, collapsed against him sobbing hysterically.

He made a mental note to block Jeremy's calls.

He rubbed her back, "I think you should see a doctor honey? I don't like you being so upset."

"I'm fine," she said in between sobs.

"What did he say?" Frank pressed. "I'd never have let him if I knew he'd do this!"

"He didn't say anything I just miss him."

He sighed, "Okay, on job thing, just don't let it interfere with what you have to do around here, all right?"

"I won't," she said offered him a smile.

He wiped the tears, "How about we go back to bed, hmm? I have to leave early for the Pentagon."

"Don't remind me," she said sadly.

"Just short hop, could mean big things," he whispered. "Come on now, back to sleep."

She nodded and they went back to bed.


	7. Dirty Laundry A

A sandwich, that's what Frank got for dinner that night. And not any kind of special sandwich, he got a jar of peanut butter, a jar of jam, two slices of bread and a knife. He'd done something, but had no idea what.

Denise was angry with him and he knew it by the way she was walking around and the expression on her face.

He was afraid to ask what he did and find out he was supposed to know so he left the house about 9 to get her a surprise, that might fix whatever it was.

He returned to home to see her cleaning like a mad woman, she did that when she was mad.

"Hi, baby." He made sure he went to give her a hug and kiss. "I got you something."

She just glared at him.

He took out a bag from her favorite ice cream shop over 20 miles away, he hated going there, it was expensive and a teen hang out but she loved their milkshakes.

She smiled but didn't speak.

"Did I tell you I loved you today?" he asked trying to figure out what on earth he'd done.

"Yeah."

"Okay, I know this is probably stupid but what did I do?" he asked."I know you're mad at me but I don't know why. I took out the trash, I put the seat down, I fixed the computer, I did dishes...Clue please?"

Now she went from mad to hurt "If you don't know I'm not going to waste time telling you, it's too late to do anything about it anyway!"

She walked away and went to the bedroom. A minute later his pillow and blanket were tossed out the door into the hall. He went to pick them up mumbling, "Knew it was stupid."

The bed room door shut and Denise went to bed, tears streaming down her face, had she lost her attractiveness to him?

He knocked, "Denise, honey please. Please don't do this."

She didn't come to the door but he could hear her, she was crying.

"Dee!" he tried again but nothing. He went and dug around the kitchen "Junk" drawer for the key and used that to unlock the door.

When he opened the door, she was laying on their bed curled up to her pillow crying her eyes out.

He sighed and got on the bed to replace her pillow, "You miss him, that's it isn't it. I'm sorry."

She pulled away from him. "No that isn't it!" she snapped. "Just leave me alone!"

"You know I can't," he sighed. "Is this about you getting all changed around earlier? I told you I thought it was nice."

"Go away Frank," she demanded. "You don't care about me, you never pay any attention to me anymore unless I'm like this!"

"That's not true," he snapped. "I'd say it's the other way around. You're the one running off here and there all the damn time!"

That only made Denise sob harder and to his surprise, she hit him, not hard enough to hurt him but she hit him in the chest with her fist.

HE was about to react when the phone rang.

he got up to answer it. "Hello."

"Frank, I need you in building one in 10 minutes," Michael told him. "Damage control on the Derek White issue."

"Yes sir," he said, he hated to leave her like this but he knew he had to follow orders.

"Don't come back here tonight," Denise warned him.

"Denise," he sighed.

"No Frank I'm serious do not come home tonight!"

He rolled his eyes, "Fine, and in two hours when you're over whatever this is you'll be begging for me to come home!"

"No I won't!"she snapped

He didn't say anything else, he just put on his uniform and left. When he got to the office his eyes were red.

"You okay Frank?" Michael asked.

"My wife lost her damn mind but other than that yes," Frank replied.

He laughed "What did you do?"

"I have no idea," Frank replied. "None. None."

"Been there."

"I heard Claudia Joy and Hannah are siding together on this thing. You have to watch that, Michael."

He nodded his acknowledgment.

"Stop it now, you can't afford to have divided loyalties right now," Frank warned. 'You are in a prime position to get this command, don't let her screw it up for you."

"I won't," Michael assured him.

The two men put their heads together and working inside that model came up with a plan to handle the friendly fire case.

Frank ignored his wife and went home when they were through.

When he got there she was laying on the couch with his pillow asleep, she had tear tracks on her cheeks.

He didn't wake her; he scooped her up and carried her to their bed.

She woke when he laid her down. "Frank?" she said still half asleep.

"Ssh, go back to sleep," he whispered pulling the covers up over her.

He moved to leave the room and sleep on the couch. He was out the door and turned to close it when he heard, "Don't leave."

He smiled that's what he wanted her to say. "Okay," he replied and slid into be beside her. He pulled her close and held her.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Ssh, sleep," he replied. His body was so tense beside hers.

"What's wrong," she asked. "You're tense."

"This whole Derek White nonsense," he replied. "Testifying before Congress, this is a public relations nightmare."

"Yeah, it is."

"We need more support now, not less," he sighed. "Over there, God...it's bad, it's really bad and I've seen a lot of things. Battle is chaos, battle is a living horror house, you make mistakes...She has no right!"

"She's just not thinking Frank, if it were me I'd probably do the same thing," Denise told him rubbing his hand.

"No you wouldn't," Frank replied rubbing her arm. "You'd know what I'd want. You always do."

She nodded.

"You feeling better now honey?" he asked. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

She shook her head "No."

"Is there anything I can do?"

She shook her head again and burrowed into his arms

He kissed her head and held her, "I love you."

"I love you too."

He held her like that all night, he never moved, if she'd let him do this with her, he'd take it. These were the special moments for him, other men made jokes about how pretty and sexy she was and what their life was like in the bedroom, that had it's place, but this...this is what mattered most.


	8. Dirty Laundry B

Frank held Denise in close to him, they just made love and he was still a little confused. "I don't understand it Denise."

"Understand what?"

"This. It was very nice...very very nice, but...Why didn't you say anything to me before?"

She shrugged. "Too scared I guess."

"Never be afraid to tell me anything," he told her. "You know that. I hope you know that, there is nothing you can't say to me."

She nodded but turned shy again, she had changed a lot over the years but that shyness was still there.

He moved onto his side, "I love you and anytime you need to feel that from me all you have to do it just tell me. No more of that seduction nonsense in someone else clothes."

"Those are mine," she replied. He had known.

"You bought it but you didn't pick it out," he replied. "And I thought you looked very pretty...for someone else's wife. I love you just as you are, don't go changing."

She nodded and snuggled closer to him, and held on tighter.

He kissed her cheek and she pulled back, "Frank, I have to tell you something."

"Okay, go ahead," he encouraged. He wanted her to feel like she could talk to him, he wasn't sure when she'd stopped realizing that.

"I wasn't going to...because I'm ashamed of it...but..." She sniffled. "But there's a reason I had to go back to work."

Now he was concerned, she had been smiling only a few minutes before and now she was crying "What's wrong, sweetheart?"

"I couldn't just sit here and think about it all the time," she sniffled. "I wanted it so badly after all these years and I know you'd have wanted it too but...I lost it."

"Lost what, honey?"

Through sobs and tears she told him, "Our baby Frank. I lost the baby just after Jeremy and I couldn't just stay here and think..."

He was shocked but he held her tighter and she burried her face in his chest and sobbed "I'm sorry"she said through tears.

"Hey, it's not your fault," he told her. "It's not your fault, baby, it happened."

"I keep thinking what if I had done something different, maybe it wouldn't have happened."

"No, no," he said. "Dee, they said honey...that you couldn't and it's true, you can't and that's okay. I know that and it's fine, you don't apologize for this again, you understand me?"

She nodded but she continued to cry, she was shaking and he was starting to get nervous, she had never cried like this so often before now.

"Dee, calm down," he told her. "Calm down, it's all right." He moved away from her to adjust his position.

She thought he was leaving her and that made her more upset.

He got out of bed and took her into his arms carrying her to the living room couch where it was easier for him to hold her in his lap and rock her like he did Jeremy when he was a tiny little boy.

He sat down with her in his lap and rocked gently, after a while it seemed to help and she started to calm down, she was still crying softly.

"Does it feel better letting it all out?" he asked her.

She nodded, she still couldn't talk.

"I'm sorry you held all this back, and I'm sorry I made going back so much harder on you but I am so very proud of all you're doing."

She looked up at him, her face was raw from crying and her eyes were bloodshot. "Really?"she asked softly.

"Really," he replied and kissed her. "And I'm glad you told me, I just want you to stop not telling me things, we used to be best friends, I want that part back."

"So do I."

"OKay, then, no more silence, if the other gets upset, we deal with it, all right?"

She nodded.

"Let go back to bed, I think we need to reconnect a little more."

"Okay," she said and tried to get up but he wouldn't let her.

"Frank?"

He smiled and stood up with her in his arms and carried her back to bed.


	9. Truth or Consequences A

"I can't believe you have to leave so soon, it feels like you haven't even been home that long," Denise said once he was off the phone.

"Longer than I should have been," he sighed. "But I can honestly say if I had to go through that crash again to get this time we had, I'd do it."

"Don't say that," Denise said, she would not have him go through that or want to go through it again, not ever.

"Hey, easy," he whispered to her. "I just meant we have time now that we wouldn't have had and we learned a lot of things over this period is all. Don't be upset."

"I'm not," she said and offered him a smile.

"That's my pretty girl, so suppose you tell me what is bothering you."

"Nothing," she said but he knew she was lying, she hadn't been herself lately.

"Dee..." He had that tone.

"It's nothing Frank."

He didn't reply he let her go; he did that when he was upset with her or knew she was hiding from him. He didn't like her suppressing things.

She sighed. "It's Jeremy."

"Yes," he replied. "And..."

"Frank you need to see him before you go," she told him.

"Denise..."

"Frank, he's our son and it's war time. Your both army, is this really how you want to leave things?"

He sighed and nodded, "Okay."

She smiled. "Thank you."

"Okay, I'll think about it," he said to reinforce it. "And I know my wife...there's something else."

"Nothing, just stupid people pissing me off, it's okay."

"Whoa! Stupid and pissing in the same sentence!"

She laughed. "What, people make me mad."

"Like who? Mrs. Grayson was entirely lovely. That could be you one day, perfect...pretty..."

"That woman can shoot a gun better than most soldiers," she laughed.

"So can you," he replied and kissed her cheek. "There's more, Dee, we just talked about it last week."

"Okay there is," she admitted. "Lenore Baker doesn't know when to shut her mouth and she's spreading lies about Claudia Joy and you deserved to be on staff and Michael didn't even ask and that makes me mad and...I'm ranting now."

He laughed, "I'm not the staff command type, they think it up and I carry it out," Frank replied. "Brains/brawn, however you want to see it."

"Well I don't like it. You're smarter than all of them put together when you want to be."

He nodded, "That wasn't so hard was it. As for Lenore, you know the truth, we back them up as best we can, and don't spread the lie even to defend it."

"She keeps it up and I'm going to say something to her myself," she said, she was now up and pacing the room in Frank's PT shirt. She was fired up now, nobody messed with her friends and got away with it.

"There she is," he smiled.

She turned to look at him "What?"

"That's the girl I fell in love with," Frank replied. "Piss and vinegar, gutsy...where have you been keeping her?"

She laughed and pretended to throw a punch. "She's been on vacation."

He got out of bed and held her tight, "Welcome home."

She smiled and kissed him "Now are you going to help me take Lenore down or do I have to do it on my own?"

"We are both going to bide our time, wait and watch...strike when the time is right, that's how us field types win battles."

Denise smiled. "Great looking and smart, I think I'll keep him."

He laughed, "Right back at you," he whispered and pulled her close for more reconnections.


	10. Truth or Consequences B

"I can't believe they arrested her!" Denise exclaimed.

"I can, that woman is a danger to others," he replied. "And it's not nice that you think it's funny."

"Well payback is…" She let him fill in the blank. "And she had it coming."

He nodded, "I'd say it's pretty God darn hilarious," he chuckled and snuggled her to him for a kiss.

She put her arms around his neck and kissed him

"You are pretty...you looked gorgeous tonight, and moved like a dream when Grayson asked you to dance."

She smiled "You are so sweet, how did I get so lucky?"

He shrugged, "Worked on the right night I guess."

She kissed him again. "I guess."

"Let's go to bed okay."

She nodded and took his hand and they went to bed.

He was stiff as a bored and kept his eyes shut while the light was on.

"You okay?"Denise asked snuggling you him.

"A little a headache," he replied.

"Want me to get you something for it?"

"Ice pack and a trash can," Frank replied. That alone indicated a more than little headache.

She got up and got him an ice pack and the trashcan and brought it back to him.

He put the pack on his head but it did nothing for him.

"Frank,I think your getting sick"she said

"No, just a little stiff."

She put her hand on his forehead to check for a fever.

He felt cool and finally it clicked, "Do you want to talk about today?"

"No."

"Okay," she sighed. "Can I just lay with you and hold on? Make you feel better."

He nodded and reached for her.

She snuggled tight..."Please baby, please."

"It's nothing Dee. Just thinking about Jeremy."

"Tell me what happened, Sweetheart," she encouraged.

"I just figured out it was my fault," he confessed. "That he hit you."

"Frank, no, it wasn't," she said firmly. "You are not responsible."

"Yes I am Denise. I taught him that it was okay to make women obey by intimidation and that was wrong"

"Frank, honey, you never intimidated me."

"Denise, every time I tell you to do something you jump right then and do it and I know that has to get old," he said. "But you do I because your intimidated by me because I raise my voice and use my size against you."

"I do it because the same day that you vowed to love, honor, and cherish me and protect me I promised to love and obey you, that's what I did."

He didn't say anything just held her tighter.

"You stop this, Frank," she scolded. "He made that choice."

"Because of me."

"Then he's very smart if he knows to hurt you he hurts me. I wish he didn't feel that way."

"But he does," he sighed.

"He'll do better soon, and it's over. He loves you and so do I now you relax your body...relax your neck, shoulders, back...and rest."

He nodded and started to relax and closed his eyes.

Denise held him through the night, he dozed quickly.


	11. Rules of Engagement A

"She must be heartbroken ,I can't believe he cheated on her," Denise told her husband.

"Understandable though," Frank replied. "When you're used to have that connection with someone else and it's gone that's one thing, but when you expect to get it back and it doesn't come, that can be pretty tough to take."

"How can you say that? He cheated on her, period!"

"Yeah and I didn't say I agreed with it, I said I understood it," he corrected. "Besides I'd think you'd be on Roland's side in this given how buddy buddy you are with that new crowd of yours."

"I am friends with him, but that doesn't mean I think he's right," she said. "What is your problem?"

"Don't have one," he said sitting on the couch, kicking off his shoes and putting his legs up on the table. Denise knew why he did it but she hated it.

"You're mad at me," she sighed.

"No, I'm not mad at anyone, I'm leaving in few days and I want to watch some television."

She sat beside of him and snuggled to him, she didn't want to fight especially when he put his feet up, she knew that meant he was sore, she hated when he put his feet on the table but she let it go for now.

"You're going to watch the ballgame?" he asked surprised at her actions.

She nodded.

He shrugged, "Okay." This was weird.

She laid her head on his shoulder and just sat there, the truth was she was scared, if it could happen to Roland and Joan, it could happen to them too.

They sat like that an hour then he finally asked, "You feeling okay?"

"Yeah,why?"

"You only do this when you're sick or afraid and afraid doesn't work."

"No, I'm okay, just tired," she lied, she was afraid but didn't know how to tell him.

"Go on to bed I'll be there soon," Frank replied and kissed her hair.

The hesitation in her movement away from him alone told him something wasn't right, this wasn't like Denise at all.

"I'll come now. Let's get you to bed, you can't feel well."

"I feel fine honey, promise," she said quietly.

"Then why are you acting funny?"

"I'm not."

"You are," he snapped. 'If you hate being here so much go!"

This was what she'd feared, it was happening to her now and she was terrified. She looked at him and started sobbing, hoping he'd change his mind, she didn't want to leave, she didn't want it to be over.

"Denise, what the Hell?" he asked.

"Nothing Frank, just forget it!" she said through tears and left the room.

Now Frank was beyond confused and very worried, he sighed and went after her, he found her in their room sitting on the bed sobbing, she was looking at her wedding ring.

He knelt in front of her, "Okay, what's going on Dee? You missing the baby or the boy?"

"No, Frank I'm scared," she sniffled.

"Scared?" he asked. "Of what baby? I'm here."

"Losing you,I f it can happen to them, it could happen to us and when you said to go..."she cried.

"I meant tonight," he clarified.

"I don't want to leave."

"You always want to," he said quietly.

Now she understood. "Oh, Frank honey, I'm sorry."

He held her close, "I like you have friends, but I'm leaving in four days."

"I know," she said. "I'm sorry I haven't been here but for these four days it's just me and you, okay?"

He smiled, "I'd never do that to you. I love you too much."

She nodded and held on to him tighter.

"Let's go to bed," he replied and kissed her.

She nodded and crawled into bed and waited for him.

He locked up the house and joined her in bed. He pulled her close, the rolled on top of her.

She laughed and kissed him. The rest was too intimate to describe.


	12. Rules Engagement B

Frank woke up at 2 AM and reached for his wife, he'd be leaving in two days and all he wanted to do was hold her. Her side of the bed was empty and cold.

He opened his eyes to see she wasn't there, he got up and went to look for her, he found her in the kitchen, drinking coffee and studying.

He sighed, "Dee, you know that stuff inside and out baby."

"I'm just going over it to make sure."

"You'll be too tired to remember if you don't get your rest honey. Come on to bed."

"I can't, I'm too nervous," she said wringin her hands. "Okay, I can't do this. I can't pass this."

He laughted at her. "Yes you can, if you stop..." He went over to her and closed her book. "Just stop and come on to bed."

"I can't," she protested. "I have to make sure I know this."

"You know, I drill you on that until you could recite it verbatim, honey, you'll be fine, but not if you fall asleep at the desk." He held her tight and kissed her hair.

She sighed "Okay."

"Come on," he said steering her. "Bed is this way." She was goig to the living room, "No, other way."

She laughed "I am so tired."

"I know, that's why it's bedtime," he said softly and picked her up to carry the rest of the way.

She fell asleep in his arms before he even got to their room.

He stayed awake with her and made sure she stayed asleep, she worked so hard, he knew she'd succeed. He just hoped that she knew it too."


	13. Duplicity A

Denise had done nothing but lay there, and that got to Frank on more levels than he wanted to admit. She' held him close, rubbed her hands on his back, but that was all. They'd never made love before when she didn't genuinely reach her pleasure point and tonight she hadn't, and worse she didn't try to fake it, or maybe that was better.

Frank grew concerned when after it was over she didn't want him to hold her, she rolled to her side, away from him and closed her eyes.

She knew her husband well, too well, she'd better think up a reason and quick. She wanted to do nothing but lay there and cry and before she knew it that's what she was doing.

That made Frank worry even more, he thought maybe he'd hurt her.

He rolled and pulled her to him, "Dee, did it hurt?"

She nodded, physically it didn't but emotionally it hurt like hell.

He sighed and held her closer, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, baby. Let me get a warm cloth."

"No, it's okay, I'm okay," she said sniffling.

"No no," he soothed. "No baby, I hurt you I fix it."

He got up before she could protest further and got a cloth and put warm water on it, he felt terrible for hurting her.

He held the warm cloth on her sensitive area, heart breaking at the tears on her cheeks.

She was still crying and that wasn't helping but he didn't know it was because that wasn't what was wrong.

"Is it helping?" he asked fretting. "Maybe soaking in the tub?"

"No," she said and reached for him, she just wanted him to hold her and make it all go away, the kiss, the guilt, all of it.

"Okay, okay, let me get back in bed okay?"

She nodded.

He slid back between the sheets and held her. "All right, you're all right. It's your friend isn't it?"

She sighed trying to get control of her emotions and finally she nodded.

"Dee, I know what it feels like honey. And it's okay to be upset but I do have one question sweetheart."

"What?"she asked sniffling.

"If that was me," Frank said. "Would you be this upset?"

"Frank if that were you I wouldn't be here right now," she said quickly. "I'd be dead."

"What?" he pulled back shocked.

"Frank, if that were you I wouldn't just be upset, I'd be dead."

"I don't understand that," Frank replied.

"What?"

"I don't understand why you say you'd be dead," he said.

"Because I would Frank, I wouldn't survive without you, I wouldn't want to."

He nodded and sighed, "But lately..."

"What?"

"Lately I just...ignore me, I'm tired, jet lag. Are you okay now, sweetie pie?"

She nodded. "Yeah I'm okay," she said and snuggled closer to him.

"Try to get some sleep," he told her and kissed her hair. He rubbed her back hoping she'd drop off...there was no way he was going to...something was not right around here...that's the only thing he knew for sure.


End file.
